Out of a lack of creativity(I did warn you that this blog is repetitive) and a request by a dear friend I thought I should dig deeper into the relationship thingy. Considering I havent been in one for almost three years perhaps I am not the foremost expert in the field but just like anything in life "those who talk about it the most do it the least". Anyway sorry for the late post but I had to consult my muse a.k.a Mad magazine (so much for the educated guess).
According to MAD's dating pluses & minuses scorecard the following apply..
1.a. If you talk to him on the phone for hours because he is so fascinating add a plus
b. If you talk to him on the phone for hours because the cops are tracing his call add a minus
2.a. If they stay up with you all night because they cant get enuff of you add a plus.
b. If they stay up with you all night because they need an alibi while their spouse is getting murdered add a minus.
3.a. If they bring you home to meet their parents and announce their intentions to marry you add a plus.
b. If they bring you home to meet their parents and shriek "See told you I am not gay" add a minus
4.a. If he would like to have kids add a plus
b. If he would like to have kids the way Michael Jackson likes to have kids add a minus.
5.a. If he listens attentively to every word you say add a plus.
b.If he listens attentively to every word you say even when he is supposedly not there through tapping your phone and carefully concealed bugs in every living area of your being add a minus.
6.a.If he tries to get you on a date by overwhelming you with flowers add a plus
b.If he tries to go out on another date with you by overwhelming you with a bottle full of chloroform knockout drops add a minus.
If you got even one minus consider ending the relationship immediately, more than three minuses consider getting yourself on the Ricki lake show.If you had six minuses you are dating either a certain Vice President or a member of the royal family,hang in there its bound to pay off.
On a more serious note I think relationships are like barter trade, there should be a double coincidence of wants. Dont string along the other party into believing things that arent there, you are just building on to the pedestal that you will eventually throw them off from. Lets face it if the thought of spending time with them goes down as well as a teaspoon of TimJan (shit that thing tastes awful) then you can either contour your face and swallow it or just spit it out....either way it will still leave a bitter taste in your mouth. If opposites really attracted I'd be having a tall, beautiful, smart chick seeing as I am short, ugly and dumb. Anyway hope that brings more confusion to the situation because in as much as you asked me about what you should do, you already knew what you wanted to and should do....DUMP THE BASTARD PLEASE.ps-did i mention I'm single by the way?(hint)
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2 comments:
as confusing as your advice can be it does help in a way coz it points out things that one tends to forget to include in their thinking process. The thing is its easier to take advise from other people even if some have never been in the situation that you are in right now! try taking your own, HHAA, yeah right, its just not the same. So when are really getting yourself a girlfriend and no I don't mean a bootycall or one noght stands... a girlfriend that you actually communicate with everyday and do things for and a woman that you can fall in love with?
That falling in love thing you are talking about actually sounds like an interesting concept...but nahhh. You are right about how every one seems able to solve someone elses problems but cant solve their own, makes you wonder if we could swap problems would we eradicate them. I should have studied Philosophy..
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