Nice from far but far from nice

We were all born intelligent then education ruined us, especially science. I have always hated science with its facts and all, I believe facts have diluted our spirituality and therefore we are not living towards our full potential in terms of the things we can do. There is one fact I believe though, light travels faster than sound. Why that fact only you may ask, well allow me to answer. Have you ever met people who seemed bright until you hear them speak and they show you the depths of their dullness, so you see light does travel faster than sound. If you dont get it dont worry you are probably one of them. I have realised that women seem to like me from a distance as well until I talk. The thing is I am a self proclaimed pervert, I dont believe in censorship of thoughts and speech because I hate having to think up a proper word or phrase for what is on my mind. When I want to fuck I want to fuck, I hate going through long winded stories in order to get laid. Dont ask me if I love you if I havent told you, dont make me choose between you and my girlfriend, and stop bragging to your friends about the superlative experience I gave you in bed and have the nerve to ask me why I slept with them when they knocked on my room at 12:34am naked.... what the hell was I supposed to do? Just venting off a couple of frustrations never mind me.

Am feeling a bit cranky today, maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed ..... even though it is a single bed. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.

Later

I cant spell 'Diarrhea'

I have always defined courage as attemting to fart in public when you have an extreme case of diarrhea, now that takes balls. I remember me and the diva were drinking one day and we found ourselves talking about things you shouldn't do when you have diarrhea and although I have forgotten most of them here are a few - wrestling, sex, watch a horror/comedy, swim in public pool and the comments page is for more suggestions. Ever wondered how "they" come up with such clinical terms like diarrhea, the name says it all - dire rear (he he he), what about menopause - pausing men (hmmmmm) later

Its my fault

I feel guilty for Bafana Bafanas defeat during the AFCON cup, the thing is I didnt blog and trash football as a sport. If you look at the archives during the rugby world cup I trashed rugby in the post 'manly sports' and look what happened, South Africa won. So if you forgive me I promise to give soccer a worthwhile trashing just before the world cup......we might just get away with the cup.

Does beer talk?

Ever wondered why is it when people drink .... they seem to have infinite wisdom, and then you ask yourself if it is the beer talking, or maybe the beer just happens to tap into their rather unused archives of thought that they would usually ignore which contain brave ideas and opinions. Makes you wonder whether genius is simply a perpetual high? I dont know but the comments page is there for a reason, use it ...... preferably when you are high.

Manly sports???

So the rugby world cup is about to start, or has it started already. If you haven’t guessed by now I am not really that much into sports and because of that most people think I am a gay trapped in the closet. I can’t for the love of women understand the basis of their reasoning but apparently according to them I am not much of a man, I on the other hand think they are the ones so way up in the closet they don’t realize it. What kind of man enjoys watching other guys groping each other’s balls during scrums and what not? Personally I think contact sports are just an opportunity for men to touch other men while still sublimating their homoerotic. Hey, but that’s just me what do I know.

Do you know why women always accuse men of having dirty minds? It’s because they change their minds so often, I mean cant you just make up your mind woman … but let me not make my stress yours. Although you can feel free to make your stress mine after all, Kwaki’s your uncle.

I dont really have a title for this post

There are two ways to win a woman over, either she loves you or you pester her until she gives in. In political circles the same applies, and since no one really loves politicians they use the only weapon available to them, long speeches. Its like those guys actually compete to see who can bore the audience to submission with the longest possible speech. Luckily last weekend the experience was made bearable by the presence of Kasiekulture. Now I know most of you consider me to be flirting with insanity but some people need to have their brains soaked in Vanish Power O2 and scrubbed with heavy duty wire mash. No disrspect there but this guy can take a topic I wrote in one paragraph and stretch it to match Madala Masukus speech without losing your interest. I only pray that one day my level of creative insanity will be that high. Nice meeting you man.

All that aside on the 23 of September it will be my birthday, and although I know most women loathe the day I was born please make an effort to try making me enjoy it. The least you could do is give me head, hey what can I say I love having my cake and eating it. Next week my girlfriend will be coming from joburg and in preparation I wont wank for a week, I plan to come in torrents of froth enough to make an ice-cream machine feel inferior.

All that aside enjoy yo weekend and remember, Kwaki's your uncle.

Have you ever googled your name?

Well I did it today out of curiousity and got very favourable results even for my alter ego Kwaki, but I cant say the same about my xxx - rated alter ego .... Damn didnt know one dick could cause such chaos. In case you dont know my xxx--rated site its http..... sorry have to go.

Later

PS Blaque has been busy on her blog there are even pics of the diamond now.

I missed me too

I had no internet connection for a while just managed to resolve things today. Anyway I wasn't demon slaying this time but I did try to kill the easter bunny. That there is one perverted bunny, even I date within the same species. The Diva is scary nowadays ... she seriously nedds to get laid before she pummels one of us to death.

So we all know the saying you are what you eat, seeing as I drink more than I eat I then have to be what I drink. So here is the thing, think of your favourite beverage be it coffee, tim-jan or ubhejane. Write down what exactly turns on your taste buds about it in my comments page and that my dear reader is what you think about sex.

I got dumped via sms last night, I laughed myself to sleep. Its not as if that is the first time it has happened to me but you know one of those jokes that just do it for you no matter how many times you hear them. Anyway I am at my workplace and my boss seems to think that means I should be actually working ... so later

PS- to contribute to the 'Buy the Diva a Dildo'foundation call me the number is +27822285619