I want to break down the last couple of weeks of my life in brief. Firstly me and former girlfriend made a clean break, this time for good. I got tired of a yo-yo relationship. Went to Nelspruit and had some fun moments with friends including a punctured tyre and a rather weird form of marketing. When we decided to leave Miss Barberton there was Kaos at the gate so I knew there would be a lot of pick pockets so I stashed all the contents of my pockets in one pocket and kept my hand in there as I pushed myself out. Then when I got out I discover people have been stuffing their business cards in my pockets, like I was gonna do business with someone who could do that. I also discovered that alcohol is cheaper in Golf Clubs, I should take up golf seriously. There was a tournament hosted by Vision 2000 last week Friday and the prizes for a days golf were plasma screens and laptops, complimentary prizes for just attending were heaters and some pretty nifty gadgets and there were even some prizes left behind and people were welcome to them. I really should take up Golf. On Sunday hitch hiked my way to Venda and it was some scary shit as it got dark before I could get anywhere near Thohoyandou. I remember some black tinted taxi with 666 as the digits on the number plate pulling over for me and I started reciting what little of the 'Lords prayer' I still remembered. But the guy was quite friendly and helped me out a lot. Well until then Kwaki is your uncle.
Will try explaining an African Proverb in each post starting with "When a man is stung by a bee, he doesn't set off to destroy all beehives". This could be applied to people who just because they dated dead beat losers go on to take it out on the entire opposite sex. Could have also come in handy to George Bush after the 9/11 attacks and he wouldn't have invaded Iraq making a complte full of himself and ruining the lives of innocent people.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
African Wisdom
"When a man is stung by a bee, he doesn't set off to destroy all beehives" - (Kenya).
"The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem" - Ethiopia.
"A short man is not a boy" - Nigeria and "No matter how hot your anger is, it cannot cook yam" - Nigeria.
"It requires a lot of carefulness to kill the fly that perches on the scrotum" - Ghana.
"If the throat can grant passage to a knife, the anus should wonder how to expel it" - Seychelles.
"The frown on the face of the goat will stop it from being taken to the market" - Nigeria.
"An old lady feels uneasy when dry bones are mentioned in a proverb" - Ghana.
"The same sun that melts the wax, hardens the clay" - Niger.
"If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there" - Uganda
"There's no virgin in a maternity ward" - Cameroon.
"A child can play with its mother's breasts, but not its father's testicles" – Guinea.
"The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem" - Ethiopia.
"A short man is not a boy" - Nigeria and "No matter how hot your anger is, it cannot cook yam" - Nigeria.
"It requires a lot of carefulness to kill the fly that perches on the scrotum" - Ghana.
"If the throat can grant passage to a knife, the anus should wonder how to expel it" - Seychelles.
"The frown on the face of the goat will stop it from being taken to the market" - Nigeria.
"An old lady feels uneasy when dry bones are mentioned in a proverb" - Ghana.
"The same sun that melts the wax, hardens the clay" - Niger.
"If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there" - Uganda
"There's no virgin in a maternity ward" - Cameroon.
"A child can play with its mother's breasts, but not its father's testicles" – Guinea.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Some words of advice
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
A bus station is where a bus stops..
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say.........
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
A bus station is where a bus stops..
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say.........
Finished exams
Finally and since I am not going to joburg anymore the road to nelspruit beckons, are you guys ready? Will be there after the weekend would have come sooner but I am never one to refuse free rides. See you soon.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Nice from far but far from nice
We were all born intelligent then education ruined us, especially science. I have always hated science with its facts and all, I believe facts have diluted our spirituality and therefore we are not living towards our full potential in terms of the things we can do. There is one fact I believe though, light travels faster than sound. Why that fact only you may ask, well allow me to answer. Have you ever met people who seemed bright until you hear them speak and they show you the depths of their dullness, so you see light does travel faster than sound. If you dont get it dont worry you are probably one of them. I have realised that women seem to like me from a distance as well until I talk. The thing is I am a self proclaimed pervert, I dont believe in censorship of thoughts and speech because I hate having to think up a proper word or phrase for what is on my mind. When I want to fuck I want to fuck, I hate going through long winded stories in order to get laid. Dont ask me if I love you if I havent told you, dont make me choose between you and my girlfriend, and stop bragging to your friends about the superlative experience I gave you in bed and have the nerve to ask me why I slept with them when they knocked on my room at 12:34am naked.... what the hell was I supposed to do? Just venting off a couple of frustrations never mind me.
Am feeling a bit cranky today, maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed ..... even though it is a single bed. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
Later
Am feeling a bit cranky today, maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed ..... even though it is a single bed. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
Later
Friday, June 13, 2008
EXAMS
I dont really mind school ..... seriously I dont, its a great place to get high, stoned, fucked and sloshed. The only problem I have with it is the part where I actually have to learn. Lets face it if they took learning out of the equation we would have less dropouts. I am currently writing exams and its as if the lecturers were targeting those days when I bunked lessons to give the rest of the class the essential exam material. I swear there is a conspiracy against me, why do i have to be the only one not smiling after an exam. Oh; I saw Steavy Boys new website and I have to admit Shan G is good in designing, there is a picture of yours trully sitting in his former office. (Pic gallery number 8)Ahhh nostalgia. Anyway will be gracing Nelspruit soon after a brief conjugal visit in Joburg, not even Xenophobia can stop me from getting some. Oh and I have a lunch meeting in Nelspruit with a beautiful woman, by the way are we still on? Until then Kwaki is your Uncle
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Another reson why Mugabe should lose
Ok so maybe its not a good reason but hey, who cares. I just need him to lose so these facts can beat the JFK vs Lincon assasination facts posted by The Diva.
Mugabe was 56 when he became Prime Minister, elections where held on the 29th and it was on a Saturday..... Morgan is 56 and elections where held on the 29th and it was on a Saturday
Mugabe was 28 when MT was born , MT was 28 when Bob came to power in 1980 , MT will take power from Mugabe after ruling for 28yrs
Coincidence?I think not...........
Whose your uncle Bob?
Mugabe was 56 when he became Prime Minister, elections where held on the 29th and it was on a Saturday..... Morgan is 56 and elections where held on the 29th and it was on a Saturday
Mugabe was 28 when MT was born , MT was 28 when Bob came to power in 1980 , MT will take power from Mugabe after ruling for 28yrs
Coincidence?I think not...........
Whose your uncle Bob?
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
some scary shit
How many men have ever experienced this. You will be in bed or the couch usually alone and then you feel a presence pinning you down and suffocating you. You cant scream, talk or move. Usually someone walks in and the presence just lets go or it lets go of its own accord. All the guys I have ever asked this have admitted to having the experience, usually in their teenage years. It doesn't matter where they are from or what race they are. They all swear it wasn't a dream and as a fellow victim to the phenomena I can vouch to that. Last year I had another run in with the presence and I am now almost certain it is female, dont ask me how i managed to come to that conclusion. If there is someone out there who is wiser to the phenomena please enlighten us. If you have experienced this as well please share, and does it also happen to females?
Monday, May 26, 2008
More agonies of an agony uncle
The people said it, I just post it and this time I will just answer
Dear Kwaki
What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my DVD player?
(Get a new DVD Player or new DVD's whichever will cost your stupid ass more)
Dear Uncle Kwaki
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive, and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
(I think I know you)
Dear Kwaki
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
(Because his own is ignorant, thats why)
Dear Uncle Kwaki
I joined the Navy to see the world.I've seen it. Now, how do I get out?
(I got married to have sex, now that I have had it how do I get out.... ok maybe yours is a bit complicated, try quiting)
Dear Kwaki
My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist a visit an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.
(Nice observation, must be hereditary)
Dear Uncle Kwaki
Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift?I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't, and he did it.
(I am just confused here)
Dear Kwaki
My mother is mean and short-tempered.I think she is going through her mental pause.
(Seems like your mental just stopped)
Dear Kwaki
I read a certain Agony Aunties column where she told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor.Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he is a doctor.
(You got it bad)
Dear Kwaki
What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my DVD player?
(Get a new DVD Player or new DVD's whichever will cost your stupid ass more)
Dear Uncle Kwaki
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive, and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
(I think I know you)
Dear Kwaki
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
(Because his own is ignorant, thats why)
Dear Uncle Kwaki
I joined the Navy to see the world.I've seen it. Now, how do I get out?
(I got married to have sex, now that I have had it how do I get out.... ok maybe yours is a bit complicated, try quiting)
Dear Kwaki
My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist a visit an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.
(Nice observation, must be hereditary)
Dear Uncle Kwaki
Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift?I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't, and he did it.
(I am just confused here)
Dear Kwaki
My mother is mean and short-tempered.I think she is going through her mental pause.
(Seems like your mental just stopped)
Dear Kwaki
I read a certain Agony Aunties column where she told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor.Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he is a doctor.
(You got it bad)
mxit
you can now get your uncle on mxit. just invite me the number is 0822285619. advice for only 2 cents a message, or we can have mxit sex.... its slowly replacing phone sex.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
The reason I haven't been posting
But seriously people out there can be dumb had a few letters from deeply troubled souls that left even me speechless.
Dear Kwaki
I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.
(Maybe he will make sure you dont get the evidence this time)
Dear Kwaki
I was married to Lihwa for three months, and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.
(are you on drugs)
Dear Kwaki
I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.
(You should get a D.N.A test and while your are at the hospital pass by the psychiatric ward)
Kwaki
Dear Kwaki
I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.
(Maybe he will make sure you dont get the evidence this time)
Dear Kwaki
I was married to Lihwa for three months, and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.
(are you on drugs)
Dear Kwaki
I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.
(You should get a D.N.A test and while your are at the hospital pass by the psychiatric ward)
Kwaki
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher, and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties.These two women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out.Do you think they could be Lebanese?
( ahh.... I dont even have a come back for this one)
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Incest
Dear Uncle
I think I'm in love with my cousin, your daughter and I read in newspapers that it's natural but you know many things are natural but we tend to keep on acting like they are unnatural. Uncle, dogs screw their mothers (bitches) to produce their siblings who also happen to be their children and the last time I interviewed a dog it said it was natural. Also this other sexpert named Drog (a dog as well) told me that it isn't anything new for cousins to feel attracted to one another,especially when they didn't grow up together. Should I whip my cousin uncle or should I spare the rod for some other child who deserve it?
Kasie
Dear Kasie
This has to be the most disturbing confession I have ever heard; not that you are attracted to your cousin, but the fact that you can have conversations with dogs. First and foremost what is natural to dogs isn't so natural to us, unless you have the urge to eat your vomit and smell other peoples assholes [although you did write that book " Taste of my vomit".... Hmmm]. Reality though is you are not the only one who has these urges, porn in the 70's and early 80's usually ran the incest theme and if we were all to be honest with each other; the truth is our early experiments into intimacy were usually with our cousins. Now as to the matter at hand, you already know she is your cousin irregardless of the fact that you didn't grow up together; had you whipped her before you knew that, you wouldn't seem like a pervert. Sorry I don't make the rules society does, but society also does say you should keep it within the family so maybe you should go for it considering this might be your only chance to get some. The only problem I have is that she is my daughter, so agony uncle aside if I see you anywhere within a 360 degree radius of her I am going to shove a hot copper wire down your pee hole till it's bladder deep and castrate you with a blunt rusty knife.
Remember Kwaki is your uncle
PS - Stop talking to the K9 species, or you will end up drinking from the toilet bowl.
I think I'm in love with my cousin, your daughter and I read in newspapers that it's natural but you know many things are natural but we tend to keep on acting like they are unnatural. Uncle, dogs screw their mothers (bitches) to produce their siblings who also happen to be their children and the last time I interviewed a dog it said it was natural. Also this other sexpert named Drog (a dog as well) told me that it isn't anything new for cousins to feel attracted to one another,especially when they didn't grow up together. Should I whip my cousin uncle or should I spare the rod for some other child who deserve it?
Kasie
Dear Kasie
This has to be the most disturbing confession I have ever heard; not that you are attracted to your cousin, but the fact that you can have conversations with dogs. First and foremost what is natural to dogs isn't so natural to us, unless you have the urge to eat your vomit and smell other peoples assholes [although you did write that book " Taste of my vomit".... Hmmm]. Reality though is you are not the only one who has these urges, porn in the 70's and early 80's usually ran the incest theme and if we were all to be honest with each other; the truth is our early experiments into intimacy were usually with our cousins. Now as to the matter at hand, you already know she is your cousin irregardless of the fact that you didn't grow up together; had you whipped her before you knew that, you wouldn't seem like a pervert. Sorry I don't make the rules society does, but society also does say you should keep it within the family so maybe you should go for it considering this might be your only chance to get some. The only problem I have is that she is my daughter, so agony uncle aside if I see you anywhere within a 360 degree radius of her I am going to shove a hot copper wire down your pee hole till it's bladder deep and castrate you with a blunt rusty knife.
Remember Kwaki is your uncle
PS - Stop talking to the K9 species, or you will end up drinking from the toilet bowl.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Missing friend
Dear uncle Kwaki
I have this friend hu has just disappeared from the face of the earth, the last i heard he was in venda but now i'm not really sure since i haven't heard from him in days or is weeks i'm not too sure.I even suspect that maybe he has been adapted by aliens or maybe the parts ppl finally got him and took his manhood...Pls tell me what to do to find my friend, shud i start calling all the mortuaries or contact every police station and start printing out posters. I'm getting worriedYours sick with worry
Ms D
Dear Ms D
Your friend sounds like a great guy and I think your letter to me shows that you might possibly have deeper feelings for him, I suggest the next time you see him shag him and I promise you he will remember to be in touch. He sounds like a sexually appreciative handsome fella and so when you shag him dont ration out the pussy, give him your all ..... fetishes included. His manhood sounds like an impressive tool for people to want to kidnap it so I would suggest you worship it. Dont worry he is probably still alive thinking of why the hell he never shagged you before he left Nelspruit.
Kwaki
I have this friend hu has just disappeared from the face of the earth, the last i heard he was in venda but now i'm not really sure since i haven't heard from him in days or is weeks i'm not too sure.I even suspect that maybe he has been adapted by aliens or maybe the parts ppl finally got him and took his manhood...Pls tell me what to do to find my friend, shud i start calling all the mortuaries or contact every police station and start printing out posters. I'm getting worriedYours sick with worry
Ms D
Dear Ms D
Your friend sounds like a great guy and I think your letter to me shows that you might possibly have deeper feelings for him, I suggest the next time you see him shag him and I promise you he will remember to be in touch. He sounds like a sexually appreciative handsome fella and so when you shag him dont ration out the pussy, give him your all ..... fetishes included. His manhood sounds like an impressive tool for people to want to kidnap it so I would suggest you worship it. Dont worry he is probably still alive thinking of why the hell he never shagged you before he left Nelspruit.
Kwaki
Thursday, April 17, 2008
I feel special
Have been away for a while, I just couldnt post at the UNIVEN computer lab it being so slow and all. Its nice to know people do miss me sometimes kind of eases the stress I am going through with my girlfriend right now. So remember back in the days when the war between men and women took a musical side. One of them would throw a punch and the other would reply. This saw us having to endure leeches whose fame depended on the sucess of more creative artists. When taht girlie group released no scrubs some guys who called themselves somekind of thieves released no pigeons. Recently the trend has reappeared and when Neo spilled his guts out on "So Sick" some woman claiming to be the lady of Neo's creativity replied him. Sean Kingston talked about beautiful girls and whatsername started singing about beautiful boys. DJ Cleo did Sis'ngihamba nawe and Arthur...wait thats another issue alltogether. Anyway remember that email I posted on my blog some time ago about installing Wife as an operating system, guess what they came up with another one
INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as AFL 5.0, The Ashes 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no! avail.
What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5,Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as AFL 5.0, The Ashes 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no! avail.
What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5,Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
Friday, April 11, 2008
I know what you're thinking...
You are probably thinking I had aproblem with fingerprints again eh; wrong, the internet this side is so congested I couldnt even log in to blogger or post comments. Dont have anything to say really just letting you guys know I am still alive, no one has robbed me of my body parts yet.My greatest fear when moving this side was that I had just watched an episode on special assignment about how some guys where standing trial for robbing body parts for vodoo purposes, among them was a priest (which gave me a damn good reason not to attend evening prayers on campus). I have been doing a little investigative journalism by walking the streets of Thohoyandou at night all alone and have met a few suspect characters one of which visibly had a knife in his pocket, but none of them seemed interested in me. I guess my body parts have been used so much they are probably worth nothing.
Later
Later
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Tying the knot
Marriage is made out to be this neccessary evil that we have to go through and since I have never been hitched myself I cant say much about the topic but there are people who believe that every man should get married at some time; after all,happiness is not the only thing in life! I am not really thinking about getting married anytime soon but my decision to go back to school was largely based on that possibility. I just wanted something to fall back on in case my alcohol induced business ideas fell through because women are demanding. The only reason you may have seen me walking hand in hand with my girlfriend at Balfour Mall was because I was afraid if I let go of her hand she would start shopping. In the words of Oscar Wilde "Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others."
Jealous lover.
Since no one has been approaching me with their problems of late, I decided to go around blogland looking for problems and lucky me the "caricaturist" had a cry for help on tjo-tjo-tjo. And I quote -
"so after numerous heartbreaches and being quinea pigged by men. Shame on me mind you. i dcided to take a backseat on life and sorta let it past me by. figured some getting to know me would do me good, cos very soon the bio-clock is gonna get on the grind and we need to sift through the riff raff a.s.a.p. But now, for us (that being me myself and i - i prefer to think of myself in the plural its more holistic. thank the greeks) to be able to do this efficiently, we need to know ourselves to better understand what is best for us.
so then in my disinterest in fly-by-night individuals, i dcided to develop a very mild case of antisociability. figured we'd be come a hermit (actually recluse is more befitting) for a while till things snapped back into order in the brain.
anyhow, so now this random person happens to develop feelings for little old me n sorta refuses to acknowledge certain life pattern changes i have become accustomed to. anyway
so now i dcide that okay. i'm gona give this dude a chance, BUT, this time our blinkers are coming off and we gonna make sure that everything is under the scrutiny of tyler perry.
so anyway, i go do the lets give u a chance thing and the next thing i hear is that well if you dont get rid of all your guy friends i cant date you?!
like hullo???!!! u do realise that i had a life before you and it involved me and my guy friends...so err exactly who are you?? okay ya, u the boyfriend, mara how long have u been around for?? u cant just expect me to ditch the crew just so ur security issues can be sorted. anyway. please let me know what's cracking anyone who has the idea.BLACK MEN HELP!!!! n the white guy too."
Dear caricaturist
Men are all the same, black, white, green etc. The problem is that usually guys who know they are dating beyond their league will always have insecurity issues. The thing is first and foremost the guy knows for a fact that your male friends are attracted to you, do not question this as it is true. I have many female friends but I admit that I didnt always want to take the friend route I just happened to find myself there and I am just waiting for their boyfriends to slip up so I can get in a "shoulder to lean on fuck". I also admit to having suffered from such insecurities in the past until I began to understand the one track relationship mentality women have as far as guys go.
Unfortunately this is a problem with no simple solution but I will tell you this. Do not compromise who you are for anyone, the sooner you understand that for yourself the stronger the foundation for your principles. In the end you wont settle for anything but the best and when you meet a guy who understands that about you, he will never have a problem trusting you because you have firm ground to stand on.
Kwaki
PS - Unfortunately for all the ladies who might read this and think I am a great catch, sorry I am already taken by someone who helped me reach the level of understanding I am at now.
If you have a word of advice please post it on her comments page.http://tjo-tjo-tjo.blogspot.com/
"so after numerous heartbreaches and being quinea pigged by men. Shame on me mind you. i dcided to take a backseat on life and sorta let it past me by. figured some getting to know me would do me good, cos very soon the bio-clock is gonna get on the grind and we need to sift through the riff raff a.s.a.p. But now, for us (that being me myself and i - i prefer to think of myself in the plural its more holistic. thank the greeks) to be able to do this efficiently, we need to know ourselves to better understand what is best for us.
so then in my disinterest in fly-by-night individuals, i dcided to develop a very mild case of antisociability. figured we'd be come a hermit (actually recluse is more befitting) for a while till things snapped back into order in the brain.
anyhow, so now this random person happens to develop feelings for little old me n sorta refuses to acknowledge certain life pattern changes i have become accustomed to. anyway
so now i dcide that okay. i'm gona give this dude a chance, BUT, this time our blinkers are coming off and we gonna make sure that everything is under the scrutiny of tyler perry.
so anyway, i go do the lets give u a chance thing and the next thing i hear is that well if you dont get rid of all your guy friends i cant date you?!
like hullo???!!! u do realise that i had a life before you and it involved me and my guy friends...so err exactly who are you?? okay ya, u the boyfriend, mara how long have u been around for?? u cant just expect me to ditch the crew just so ur security issues can be sorted. anyway. please let me know what's cracking anyone who has the idea.BLACK MEN HELP!!!! n the white guy too."
Dear caricaturist
Men are all the same, black, white, green etc. The problem is that usually guys who know they are dating beyond their league will always have insecurity issues. The thing is first and foremost the guy knows for a fact that your male friends are attracted to you, do not question this as it is true. I have many female friends but I admit that I didnt always want to take the friend route I just happened to find myself there and I am just waiting for their boyfriends to slip up so I can get in a "shoulder to lean on fuck". I also admit to having suffered from such insecurities in the past until I began to understand the one track relationship mentality women have as far as guys go.
Unfortunately this is a problem with no simple solution but I will tell you this. Do not compromise who you are for anyone, the sooner you understand that for yourself the stronger the foundation for your principles. In the end you wont settle for anything but the best and when you meet a guy who understands that about you, he will never have a problem trusting you because you have firm ground to stand on.
Kwaki
PS - Unfortunately for all the ladies who might read this and think I am a great catch, sorry I am already taken by someone who helped me reach the level of understanding I am at now.
If you have a word of advice please post it on her comments page.http://tjo-tjo-tjo.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Career change
The reason I havent been posting is because they introduced a new security system at the student comp lab which requires finger print identification, as it would seem I dont have fingerprints. They have been tring to include me for the past two weeks and despite every effort I dont seem to be able to satisfy the scanner, I dont have fingerprints. I can see them when I look at my hand but masturbation must have eroded them somewhat coz the scanner just aint reading them. I thought it was a myth that masturbation eroded your fingerprints but I guess there is some truth to it afterall, makes you wonder what other urban legends based on masturbation are true. Will I go blind next, or maybe grow hair on my palms????? This scared me to the point of visiting my girlfriend last weekend and getting in a good two months worth of shag to the point that she chased me away. It worked though today I got my fingerprints scanned and am back to blogging, so for now I have somthing more constructive to do with my hands. Too bad I dont have a computer in my room but if all else fails and I go back to masturbating I might just start a career as a criminal, they will never be able to pin a robbery on me based on fingerprints.
Whose your uncle???
Whose your uncle???
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Whats in a name...
When I was in Swaziland my name used to get me laid a lot, it was the greatest pickup line.
Me - Hi, my name is Lihwa
Her - Unique name what does it mean?
Me - Translated from Sotho to Swati it means Likhwa
Her - Do you know what that means in SiSwati?
Me - No
Her - Its a handsome guy who is loved by women
Me - Stop it youre making me blush
......and the next thing I know she is screaming it while we fuck.
The thing I forgot to mention in Swaziland was that my name translated to Swati actually meant Lifa, which is inheritance/heritage I am not quite sure.
Have you ever noticed that some parents give really optimistic names, I remember I once learnt with a guy called Handsome who was far from being that. My high school bully was called Musa, but he never showed me mercy, and Angel turned out to be the kind of girl her mother always warned her not to play with.
Kwaki
Me - Hi, my name is Lihwa
Her - Unique name what does it mean?
Me - Translated from Sotho to Swati it means Likhwa
Her - Do you know what that means in SiSwati?
Me - No
Her - Its a handsome guy who is loved by women
Me - Stop it youre making me blush
......and the next thing I know she is screaming it while we fuck.
The thing I forgot to mention in Swaziland was that my name translated to Swati actually meant Lifa, which is inheritance/heritage I am not quite sure.
Have you ever noticed that some parents give really optimistic names, I remember I once learnt with a guy called Handsome who was far from being that. My high school bully was called Musa, but he never showed me mercy, and Angel turned out to be the kind of girl her mother always warned her not to play with.
Kwaki
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