Top 5 voicemails

(a). Hello, you've reached Kwaki and *****. We can't pick up the phone
right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. ***** likes
doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly.
So leave a message, and when we're done.... brushing our teeth we'll get
back to you.


(b). Hi, this is Kwaki. If you are the phone company, I've already sent
the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my
financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are
my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have
plenty of money.



(c). Hi, I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.


(d). Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain
silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.


(e). (Sexy female voice with heavy panting).. Hi, you've reached
0822285619.
Kwaki is in... (sigh) Oh no, he's out... (aah) Yes, he's in again..(ooh)
No he's out... (aah) Why don't you just leave your name and number and
he'll call you as soon as he...cums.