Elections 2009

I wont confuse you with english i dont understand myself, i wont draw your attention with dramatic stunts. You are not my comrade, i dont think we are fighting a war. I cant afford to sponsor you with t-shirts, buy you alcohol or have a bash in my name. I have no catchy slogan on the few posters that litter our campus walls. I wont make you promises of change or for a free meal if I win... So why should you vote for me for HRC? I have also had to sleep on the floor because my block rep didnt report my broken bed. I also had to freeze last year because maintainance took forever to replace the windows in my room. I have heard to learn the art of fixing doors for the same reason. I could go on but you would just accuse me of being either accident prone or a wreckless vandal. My point is with the money we are paying for rent on campus our caretakers should ensure our comfort. So vote for me to ensure that comfort. Kwela L for HRC. Number 14... (i should write julius malemas speeches, but am sure he would find a way to ruin them)

Elections 2009

I wont confuse you with english i dont understand myself, i wont draw your attention with dramatic stunts. You are not my comrade, i dont think we are fighting a war. I cant afford to sponsor you with t-shirts, buy you alcohol or have a bash in my name. I have no catchy slogan on the few posters that litter our campus walls. I wont make you promises of change or for a free meal if I win... So why should you vote for me for HRC? I have also had to sleep on the floor because my block rep didnt report my broken bed. I also had to freeze last year because maintainance took forever to replace the windows in my room. I have heard to learn the art of fixing doors for the same reason. I could go on but you would just accuse me of being either accident prone or a wreckless vandal. My point is with the money we are paying for rent on campus our caretakers should ensure our comfort. So vote for me to ensure that comfort. Kwela L for HRC. Number 14... (i should write julius malemas speeches, but am sure he would find a way to ruin them)

Elections 2009

I wont confuse you with english i dont understand myself, i wont draw your attention with dramatic stunts. You are not my comrade, i dont think we are fighting a war. I cant afford to sponsor you with t-shirts, buy you alcohol or have a bash in my name. I have no catchy slogan on the few posters that litter our campus walls. I wont make you promises of change or for a free meal if I win... So why should you vote for me for HRC? I have also had to sleep on the floor because my block rep didnt report my broken bed. I also had to freeze last year because maintainance took forever to replace the windows in my room. I have heard to learn the art of fixing doors for the same reason. I could go on but you would just accuse me of being either accident prone or a wreckless vandal. My point is with the money we are paying for rent on campus our caretakers should ensure our comfort. So vote for me to ensure that comfort. Kwela L for HRC. Number 14... (i should write julius malemas speeches, but am sure he would find a way to ruin them)

Elections 2009

I wont confuse you with english i dont understand myself, i wont draw your attention with dramatic stunts. You are not my comrade, i dont think we are fighting a war. I cant afford to sponsor you with t-shirts, buy you alcohol or have a bash in my name. I have no catchy slogan on the few posters that litter our campus walls. I wont make you promises of change or for a free meal if I win... So why should you vote for me for HRC? I have also had to sleep on the floor because my block rep didnt report my broken bed. I also had to freeze last year because maintainance took forever to replace the windows in my room. I have heard to learn the art of fixing doors for the same reason. I could go on but you would just accuse me of being either accident prone or a wreckless vandal. My point is with the money we are paying for rent on campus our caretakers should ensure our comfort. So vote for me to ensure that comfort. Kwela L for HRC. Number 14... (i should write julius malemas speeches, but am sure he would find a way to ruin them)

Elections 2009

I wont confuse you with english i dont understand myself, i wont draw your attention with dramatic stunts. You are not my comrade, i dont think we are fighting a war. I cant afford to sponsor you with t-shirts, buy you alcohol or have a bash in my name. I have no catchy slogan on the few posters that litter our campus walls. I wont make you promises of change or for a free meal if I win... So why should you vote for me for HRC? I have also had to sleep on the floor because my block rep didnt report my broken bed. I also had to freeze last year because maintainance took forever to replace the windows in my room. I have heard to learn the art of fixing doors for the same reason. I could go on but you would just accuse me of being either accident prone or a wreckless vandal. My point is with the money we are paying for rent on campus our caretakers should ensure our comfort. So vote for me to ensure that comfort. Kwela L for HRC. Number 14... (i should write julius malemas speeches, but am sure he would find a way to ruin them)

Football Friday

So there’s Phuza Thursday, Freaky Friday etc, basically any excuse to make merry and get sloshed. Well here is one worthy cause to promote the beautiful game and wear your teams’ colours to your work place. Fine, you probably already had ‘Casual Fridays’ but Mpumalanga Province wants to re-brand Friday by taking the challenge of Sepp Blatter for heightened media and marketing around the 2010 FIFA World Cup; and thus Football Friday. The campaign will promote the dressing up in football wear on a Friday, instead of merely dressing casual.

Of course the province doesn’t mind sharing the initiative and in that spirit The Executive Mayor of the Nelspruit Host City, Cllr Lassy Chiwayo, will be issuing the biggest public “I dare you”, to the rest of the country at an event taking place at the Riverside Government Complex, the Piazza at the Provincial Legislature on Friday the 10th of July 2009. She will challenge other provinces to take up the campaign, and to promote it passionately within their provinces. So get on board people, it’s probably the only day you can rub it into your bosses face if his team is your rival, even better if you both support the same team….that is if you like sucking up.

Now for the part most of you have been waiting for, free stuff. Yep, soccer jerseys will be distributed at both provincial and district level in order to assist citizens to dress up for Football Fridays….and although the official launch will be done at the Riverside Government Complex, similar events will be hosted by District Mayors. Major competitions will be centered from 10 July 2009 – 08 August 2009. Monthly football events will thereafter take place in rural communities around the Province, in celebration of the “biggest dare” presented to Mzansi.

If you will be in the area of the Mall today pop in there around lunchtime the schedule is as follows;
LAUNCH EVENT: FOOTBALL FRIDAY

Date: 10 July 2009

Place: Piazza, Provincial Legislature

Time: 13: 00 – 14: 00

PROGRAM FOR THE DAY

Master of Ceremonies: DJ Madumane from Ligwalagwala FM
12:50 Local Artist on stage

13:00 DJ Madumane stats speaking to the crowd

13:05 Diski Dancers entertainment

13:15 Zakumi greets the crowd

13:20 Cllr Lassy Chiwayo issues South Africa’s Biggest Dare

13:30 National Artists on stage
Press meets Cllr Lassy Chiwayo for press questions

13:50 Promotional give away

If you can’t make it just support the cause by wearing your teams’ colours, and if your boss gives you a hard time show them this post here….I don’t know if it will help though…

More words of wisdom

In life never be moved like Mugabe.
Never give up like Tsvangirai.
Grab opportunities like Mutambara.
Strive to grow like Zimbabwean inflation.
When they chase you away keep coming back like the zeroes on the Zim dollar.

And you thought nothing good could be said about the situation in Zimbabwe.

A sad day in history.

A message to all members of Sondeza.com

Hi Sondezees,

Due to a number of legal reasons we have been forced to stop Sondeza.com. We'd like to thank all our members for making Sondeza the best Adult Social network in SA. At this stage we are not sure how long it will take to bring Sondeza.com back to life again.

We'll be doing online marketing, consulting and website development.If you want your business to succeed online you can get in touch with us on sondeza@gmail.com

Thank you,

Regards,
Sondeza Admin Team
sondeza@gmail.com

Visit Sondeza.com at: http://www.sondeza.com

Penis envy

Why is it that the regular women in my life have the tendency to christian my penis with a name. This means Charlie (current name of my dick) has had numerous name changes and I hope this doesnt lead to him developing a multi personality disorder or worse yet schizophrenia. Now I dont mind the name calling but sometimes charlie gets more attention than me during sex and although i understand he plays a huge role in the sex, my presence in the room should at least be aknowledged. If you are going to scream a name, scream mine not Charlies....after all how do I know you didnt name my dick after an ex-lover?
Am coming back to Nelspruit sometime next week.

Curse or a blessing?

One fine day in the past month i discovered to my anguish that a man called horse was human again, ok let me rephrase that; my dick shrunk. I dont know how it happened but it didnt have the effect i thought it would. I initially thought my reputation was going to go down the drain but infact it kinda motivated me to be a better lover. In the past i used to stick my dick in the pussy and by my shear size alone i knew i could touch intimate places without knowing where they were. Now since i cant rely on size i have had to rely on skill. It has actually made me more explorative in my lovemaking and if ever i can regain my size again i will rock.

I tried this

I got this e-mail from a friend of mine...

Here's something for all you medical know-it-alls:
Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the
eyeball to the anus?

It is called the 'anal optic nerve'. It's responsible for giving
people a 'sh!itty outlook' on life or for you Afrikaans know-it-alls
-'n kak gedagte.

If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your @ss, and see if it
doesn't bring a tear to your eye.

Interesting ain't it that some people wonder why their bum fluff exists????

That time of the year again

Yeah, its spring and we welcome all the less than conservative women out there who show enough skin to make Sondeza.com blush (to Kasie how u discovered that site is beyond me but God bless your site tracking skills), but more importantly than bum riders and mini skirts its my birthday on the 23rd of September. My birthday was made for partying hence there is a public holiday the day after, so u can nurse your hangover before going back to work the next day. Diva congrats on your job, more especially your car....cant wait too take it for a spin.

Craziest thing I did so far was walk around my campus residency naked on spring day accompanied by two beautiful and equally naked women. So I just introduced the naked mile to Venda, too bad I didn't capture the whole thing on camera for Sondeza.com

Later,I have a shitload of assignments that refuse to write themselves.

Your uncle is back

Driving for dummies

If I was a fly on the wall

I always wondered what Bob talked about in private...

Chain letters

Dont u just hate chain letters? I used to have penpals until they started sending me silly messages about people who had died after not sending that particular letter to twenty people, then chain letters invaded e-mails as if we didn't have enough junk mail from people who want to enlarge our penises and sell us viagra. Luckily when sms revolution started it was too costly to text chain letters, but alas there was Mxit. Some people who have nothing better to do than abuse their fingers are busy sending lengthy chain letters some of which claim to date before mxit even came to be. Some people seriously need to get laid.

Todays Proverb "It requires a lot of carefulness to kill the fly that perches on the scrotum" - Ghana.
This is what someone told Mbeki before he started talks with Bob, hence the quiet diplomacy. He knows better than to just swat the evasive bugger with a hammer causing more damage to his own country i.e, his balls. Some situations just need to be handled with care or they might backfire. Until then Kwakis your uncle.

Briefly

I want to break down the last couple of weeks of my life in brief. Firstly me and former girlfriend made a clean break, this time for good. I got tired of a yo-yo relationship. Went to Nelspruit and had some fun moments with friends including a punctured tyre and a rather weird form of marketing. When we decided to leave Miss Barberton there was Kaos at the gate so I knew there would be a lot of pick pockets so I stashed all the contents of my pockets in one pocket and kept my hand in there as I pushed myself out. Then when I got out I discover people have been stuffing their business cards in my pockets, like I was gonna do business with someone who could do that. I also discovered that alcohol is cheaper in Golf Clubs, I should take up golf seriously. There was a tournament hosted by Vision 2000 last week Friday and the prizes for a days golf were plasma screens and laptops, complimentary prizes for just attending were heaters and some pretty nifty gadgets and there were even some prizes left behind and people were welcome to them. I really should take up Golf. On Sunday hitch hiked my way to Venda and it was some scary shit as it got dark before I could get anywhere near Thohoyandou. I remember some black tinted taxi with 666 as the digits on the number plate pulling over for me and I started reciting what little of the 'Lords prayer' I still remembered. But the guy was quite friendly and helped me out a lot. Well until then Kwaki is your uncle.

Will try explaining an African Proverb in each post starting with "When a man is stung by a bee, he doesn't set off to destroy all beehives". This could be applied to people who just because they dated dead beat losers go on to take it out on the entire opposite sex. Could have also come in handy to George Bush after the 9/11 attacks and he wouldn't have invaded Iraq making a complte full of himself and ruining the lives of innocent people.

African Wisdom

"When a man is stung by a bee, he doesn't set off to destroy all beehives" - (Kenya).

"The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem" - Ethiopia.

"A short man is not a boy" - Nigeria and "No matter how hot your anger is, it cannot cook yam" - Nigeria.

"It requires a lot of carefulness to kill the fly that perches on the scrotum" - Ghana.

"If the throat can grant passage to a knife, the anus should wonder how to expel it" - Seychelles.

"The frown on the face of the goat will stop it from being taken to the market" - Nigeria.

"An old lady feels uneasy when dry bones are mentioned in a proverb" - Ghana.

"The same sun that melts the wax, hardens the clay" - Niger.

"If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there" - Uganda

"There's no virgin in a maternity ward" - Cameroon.

"A child can play with its mother's breasts, but not its father's testicles" – Guinea.

Some words of advice

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn

"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk

"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep

One should love animals.
They are so tasty.

Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa

Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two

Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?

Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

A bus station is where a bus stops..
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say.........

Finished exams

Finally and since I am not going to joburg anymore the road to nelspruit beckons, are you guys ready? Will be there after the weekend would have come sooner but I am never one to refuse free rides. See you soon.

Nice from far but far from nice

We were all born intelligent then education ruined us, especially science. I have always hated science with its facts and all, I believe facts have diluted our spirituality and therefore we are not living towards our full potential in terms of the things we can do. There is one fact I believe though, light travels faster than sound. Why that fact only you may ask, well allow me to answer. Have you ever met people who seemed bright until you hear them speak and they show you the depths of their dullness, so you see light does travel faster than sound. If you dont get it dont worry you are probably one of them. I have realised that women seem to like me from a distance as well until I talk. The thing is I am a self proclaimed pervert, I dont believe in censorship of thoughts and speech because I hate having to think up a proper word or phrase for what is on my mind. When I want to fuck I want to fuck, I hate going through long winded stories in order to get laid. Dont ask me if I love you if I havent told you, dont make me choose between you and my girlfriend, and stop bragging to your friends about the superlative experience I gave you in bed and have the nerve to ask me why I slept with them when they knocked on my room at 12:34am naked.... what the hell was I supposed to do? Just venting off a couple of frustrations never mind me.

Am feeling a bit cranky today, maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed ..... even though it is a single bed. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.

Later