I feel special

Have been away for a while, I just couldnt post at the UNIVEN computer lab it being so slow and all. Its nice to know people do miss me sometimes kind of eases the stress I am going through with my girlfriend right now. So remember back in the days when the war between men and women took a musical side. One of them would throw a punch and the other would reply. This saw us having to endure leeches whose fame depended on the sucess of more creative artists. When taht girlie group released no scrubs some guys who called themselves somekind of thieves released no pigeons. Recently the trend has reappeared and when Neo spilled his guts out on "So Sick" some woman claiming to be the lady of Neo's creativity replied him. Sean Kingston talked about beautiful girls and whatsername started singing about beautiful boys. DJ Cleo did Sis'ngihamba nawe and Arthur...wait thats another issue alltogether. Anyway remember that email I posted on my blog some time ago about installing Wife as an operating system, guess what they came up with another one

INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as AFL 5.0, The Ashes 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no! avail.
What can I do?
Signed, Desperate

Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5,Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support