3. GOLD DIGGERS (Poly Students, College girls, Campus chicks, High School students etc - generally referred to as Weekend Accessories)
Advantages
* VERY, VERY GOOD IN BED (Holy Benjamin - Lord have mercy !!!wow!).
Disadvantages
* She makes sure she leaves you penniless. (Airtime, lunch, hair do, cosmetics, etc!!!) And then spends the money on her "real boyfriend
* She tells you she is on the pill, but she is pregnant within 3 months of the relationship.
*When ever there's a misunderstanding, she is quick to say you are using her (..but its quite the opposite (confusion at its best!!! )
* She sues for maintenance costs, especially if you are prominent and takes the story to the Lowvwlder, Mpumalanga Times....
* She is sexy isn't she? And that makes many of u DAMN!!!
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Women I know - 2
2. PROFESSIONAL / MILLENNIUM / WORKING - LADIES
Advantages
* She does not need your money
* She can lend you her car (latest model BMW/Volvo), u can boast to your friends that u have a connected Cherrie!! Pssst!!!
*You can even date other women with her car!!!
* She has a credit card and petrol coupon for u when you are down and out.
Disadvantages
* She is generally BAD IN BED. Its either she is too tired or doesn't just feel like it and u don’t have to wonder why we keep more than one of those at a time!!!.)
*You'll have take-away for dinner 6 times a week (AT LEAST!!)
* She thinks she owns you; more than your mother does sometimes.
* She hates your friends; u can't even go to the stadium once a month.
* She always tells you to get a better job, car, house etc. (the list goes on, COZ SHE MOST LIKELY EARNS MORE THAN YOU DO!!!)
* You won't have a life with this one. They have no respect; they will insult you / your mother in English and French....
Advantages
* She does not need your money
* She can lend you her car (latest model BMW/Volvo), u can boast to your friends that u have a connected Cherrie!! Pssst!!!
*You can even date other women with her car!!!
* She has a credit card and petrol coupon for u when you are down and out.
Disadvantages
* She is generally BAD IN BED. Its either she is too tired or doesn't just feel like it and u don’t have to wonder why we keep more than one of those at a time!!!.)
*You'll have take-away for dinner 6 times a week (AT LEAST!!)
* She thinks she owns you; more than your mother does sometimes.
* She hates your friends; u can't even go to the stadium once a month.
* She always tells you to get a better job, car, house etc. (the list goes on, COZ SHE MOST LIKELY EARNS MORE THAN YOU DO!!!)
* You won't have a life with this one. They have no respect; they will insult you / your mother in English and French....
Women I know - 1
1. HOUSEWIFE'S
Advantages
* She stays home and takes care of kids and household chores.
* She is always good in bed because she is never tired.
* Will always cook a good meal (NO NANDOS, KFC, etc)
Disadvantages
* You will never know what she does when you are at work.
* She behaves like your mother when you come home late.
* She bitches when you watch TV too long.
* You can't play your music loud.
Advantages
* She stays home and takes care of kids and household chores.
* She is always good in bed because she is never tired.
* Will always cook a good meal (NO NANDOS, KFC, etc)
Disadvantages
* You will never know what she does when you are at work.
* She behaves like your mother when you come home late.
* She bitches when you watch TV too long.
* You can't play your music loud.
Monday, March 5, 2007
Goodbye
Will be taking a break for sometime for myself, so you wont be seeing much of me in blogland. I will be back though when I have dealt with my demons.
Very much later
Very much later
What women want
So ever noticed how good intentions will never win as far as women are concerned, and it is always amazing how women misread men but what the hell.. Anyway have been asking about and my good friend toots came up with suggestions on how to keep them interested in you.
Hi Bafethu,
Well I have seen the way you always admire how toots has always kept his chick happy, for a change I thought I will tell you the secret. Believe me it works! That woman will love you forever. To all my female friends, I hope you agree with me hey. In fact I got a first prize for the hottest tips when I sent them to the Men’s health magazine. Here is my secret.
1. When she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. And girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (Or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say you better be, repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement. And every girl needs some improvement.
6. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words 'fuck you' and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.
7. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."
8. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.
9. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.
10. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket………………then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." the best way to get warm is with fear.
11. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the parties dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.
12. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things, like shadow boxing.
13. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.
14. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she will go crazy.
15. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.
16. Give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.
17. Titty twisters and plenty of them.
18. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that’s important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.
19. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny.
20. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Now don't call.
Thanks toots will definately keep those pointers in mind.
Hi Bafethu,
Well I have seen the way you always admire how toots has always kept his chick happy, for a change I thought I will tell you the secret. Believe me it works! That woman will love you forever. To all my female friends, I hope you agree with me hey. In fact I got a first prize for the hottest tips when I sent them to the Men’s health magazine. Here is my secret.
1. When she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. And girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (Or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say you better be, repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement. And every girl needs some improvement.
6. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words 'fuck you' and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.
7. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."
8. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.
9. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.
10. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket………………then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." the best way to get warm is with fear.
11. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the parties dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.
12. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things, like shadow boxing.
13. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.
14. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she will go crazy.
15. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.
16. Give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.
17. Titty twisters and plenty of them.
18. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that’s important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.
19. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny.
20. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Now don't call.
Thanks toots will definately keep those pointers in mind.
Monday blues
Had a fucked up weekend and I have only myself to blame for being so understanding to other peoples needs and ignoring mine when I know too well should the tables be turned they will always put themselves first but let me not sulk too much. I really sometimes wish I wasnt the way I am but I guess I will always be a goodguy. I swear the next woman who calls me 'sweet'/'like a brother'/'just a friend'etc, just might see how much of a gaping asshole I can be. Anyway was looking at relationships again thanks to a Sunday chill session with a couple of guys and I came to the realization that there are basically 4 kinds of relationships.
1. There is the main lover who is the stable guy/girl in your life, this could be your hubby or wife.
2. There is the friend of the opposite sex who you are usually attracted to but have never been intimate with because you are afraid it will ruin everything. You tell them of all your sexual experiences blah blah and you expect them to always pick up the pieces when you get hurt. Usually either one of you in the relationship wants to have their cake and eat it and in the end there is the possibility that you may ruin the relationship even by not doing anything.
3. There is the other person who you just click on a sexual level and you feel free to do things that you cant do with number 1 and would love to do with number 2 but never have.
4. Then is the occasional puff and pass, this can be someone who you wouldnt want to be seen with in public but who you shag either for the benefits (if you are female) or because everyone is shagging them and you just dont want to be left out.
Just remember your number 1 might be someone elses 2, 3 and even 4.
Later.
1. There is the main lover who is the stable guy/girl in your life, this could be your hubby or wife.
2. There is the friend of the opposite sex who you are usually attracted to but have never been intimate with because you are afraid it will ruin everything. You tell them of all your sexual experiences blah blah and you expect them to always pick up the pieces when you get hurt. Usually either one of you in the relationship wants to have their cake and eat it and in the end there is the possibility that you may ruin the relationship even by not doing anything.
3. There is the other person who you just click on a sexual level and you feel free to do things that you cant do with number 1 and would love to do with number 2 but never have.
4. Then is the occasional puff and pass, this can be someone who you wouldnt want to be seen with in public but who you shag either for the benefits (if you are female) or because everyone is shagging them and you just dont want to be left out.
Just remember your number 1 might be someone elses 2, 3 and even 4.
Later.
Friday, March 2, 2007
Ever changing technology
Ever notice how obsolete technology becomes once you own it, I mean when you have just bought windows 03 then comes windows 08, PSP then here comes PS3. I mean you spend so much time upgrading your software and then upgrading those upgrades you just get tired in the end. Got this e-mail.
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition , Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity . Applications such as Poker Night 10.3 , Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks,
Troubled User..
______________________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under " Warnings-Alimony-Child Support" . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear"5.0 to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
WARNING!!! DO NOT , under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition , Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity . Applications such as Poker Night 10.3 , Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks,
Troubled User..
______________________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under " Warnings-Alimony-Child Support" . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear"5.0 to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
WARNING!!! DO NOT , under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Last day of the month
So today is the end of February which means some of us are worried about rent and all those bills. Some people who were born on a leap year have understandably more pressing issues to worry about but hey...what are the odds of that(one in four). To those of you who have radios and are within a 100km radius of Barberton, listen to BCR as from tommorow and tell me what time my good friend Kliffoday is on air. Mail me your answers to lihwak@gmail.com or call 0822285619 and you could stand a chance to party with me(if you are female your chances increase considerably) ... ohh and Kliff just might make an appearence.(hopefully not)
Anyway celebrities aside arent you just glad the so called month of love is over, for a month with so few days it really does take its toll on the pocket....and "they" say you cant buy love.Ever realised how women are like condoms, they spend more time in your wallet than on your dick. For those of you who werent so lucky this month, shame on you.(Were you expecting advice or words of inspiration?)At least I did do you guys a favour I killed Cupid so dont worry about spoiling your so called beloved next year, spoil me instead. I accept VISA....
Later
Anyway celebrities aside arent you just glad the so called month of love is over, for a month with so few days it really does take its toll on the pocket....and "they" say you cant buy love.Ever realised how women are like condoms, they spend more time in your wallet than on your dick. For those of you who werent so lucky this month, shame on you.(Were you expecting advice or words of inspiration?)At least I did do you guys a favour I killed Cupid so dont worry about spoiling your so called beloved next year, spoil me instead. I accept VISA....
Later
Win a mazda
So Mazda is running a competition on my blog, if you can spot the sleepy student in the picture below you stand to win a brand new Mazda 6, competition date closes on the end of March all you have to do is post your answer and your name + contact details in the comments box and the car could be all yours. Each participant is limited to one answer. Good luck ..... you will need it.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Am I in love
I have never been one to lie about the things that matter and the unfortunate thing about the way things have turned out has proven to be some poetic justice of some kind. There was a certain girl who I did not love at first but pretended I did until in actual fact I fell for her. By then she was falling out of love with me ( with the help of some other guy of course). By the time she felt nothing 4 me, my feelings had blossomed to the point of obsession. In a stupid act of selflessness I listened to ‘they’ and let her go with the stupid belief that if its meant to be it will come back..and all that other bullshit. So far she has come and gone back to lots of guys, me excluded and although my heart has hope my head has reason. Love may be blind but I am not and I don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out she does not want me. But although I am no longer in love with her fact is I love her for the simple fact that she made me feel things no other woman had been able to before her. I never knew the thin line between love and hate until I met her, and for the first time in my life I felt that heart wrenching emotion called jealousy. Then it sank, I do feel after all and with that the flood gates to my emotional barrier were opened and a whole charade of emotions began to gush out of me. I wasn't the calm collected charmer I always presented, I became this insecure unstable pathetic emotional wreck and looking back I can see why she lost interest in me. Then you think that you have learned from your lessons and fast foward to the present time and although the cast has changed the story is still somewhat similar. To make a long story short I am seriously fucked..
Monday, February 19, 2007
Oral sex
OK so we have all read this joke( I would have said heard but have you noticed how e-mails are cornering the joke market ) about an elderly couple whose idea of oral sex is her shouting "fuck you" from across the room and him shouting "fuck you too" and then they get into their separate bedrooms and sleep. If that's oral sex then lots of guys out there are throwing insults at each other are gay... anyway not to be outdone I came up with a poem of my own.
Oral sex
Making love through words
Intimate foreplay in these verbs
Every jingle caresses my earlobes
Before penetrating my mind with gentle strokes
Should I explain the sensation it invoked
When she whispered and when she spoke
Her voice angelic in its chord
Inviting me to its holy abode
Erecting my senses, she strokes my nerves
Naked and shameless, those were her words
She started slow and picked up speed
The more she says the more I need
This beautiful sensation with a twist of greed
She speaks I listen, that's how we breed.
Our satisfaction is achieved in the anticipation
Only when you have none, can you fulfill your expectations
As you will notice I passed 'Yes dear 101' with flying colours, always listen to your woman or at least pretend to. Sweetie if you are reading this ignore the 'pretend to' part. So anyway that is my attempt at poetry.
Oral sex
Making love through words
Intimate foreplay in these verbs
Every jingle caresses my earlobes
Before penetrating my mind with gentle strokes
Should I explain the sensation it invoked
When she whispered and when she spoke
Her voice angelic in its chord
Inviting me to its holy abode
Erecting my senses, she strokes my nerves
Naked and shameless, those were her words
She started slow and picked up speed
The more she says the more I need
This beautiful sensation with a twist of greed
She speaks I listen, that's how we breed.
Our satisfaction is achieved in the anticipation
Only when you have none, can you fulfill your expectations
As you will notice I passed 'Yes dear 101' with flying colours, always listen to your woman or at least pretend to. Sweetie if you are reading this ignore the 'pretend to' part. So anyway that is my attempt at poetry.
Monday, February 12, 2007
VALENTINES WEEK
Nice weekend was at afrosliqs party on saturday didn't get too sloshed out of respect, but diva u have too many male friends get some female friends to balance the equation. Anyhow it is Valentines week I am so broke I have less money than when I had no money at all. Am thinking of being a total jerk and get dumped by my better halves until the valentines hype is over then get back to speaking terms with them again.
So we are all anticipating tupacs latest album for this year, is the guy dead or did black people need their own version of elvis??? For those who have seen me and mistaken me for the younger version of 2pac, let me set the record straight no we are not related....as far as I know. Besides I am better looking.
Chappelle Show (Lost Ep.) - Tupac is alive
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Anyhow last week Tuesday I attended the premiere to the movie Catch a fire and its inspiring how simple people live amazing lives, but before I get all sentimental and shit on you I urge you to go watch the movie it is now showing in cinemas countrywide.
Later
So we are all anticipating tupacs latest album for this year, is the guy dead or did black people need their own version of elvis??? For those who have seen me and mistaken me for the younger version of 2pac, let me set the record straight no we are not related....as far as I know. Besides I am better looking.
Chappelle Show (Lost Ep.) - Tupac is alive
Add to My Profile More Videos
Anyhow last week Tuesday I attended the premiere to the movie Catch a fire and its inspiring how simple people live amazing lives, but before I get all sentimental and shit on you I urge you to go watch the movie it is now showing in cinemas countrywide.
Later
Friday, February 9, 2007
Happy Birthday
My dear friend afrosliq diva is having her 23rd birthday today, damn you're old. They say with age comes wisdom, I wish that was true in your case but its a pity that "they" arent always right. Just joking happy birthday gal.... So when is the party?
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Monday, February 5, 2007
Love is in the air...
....amongst other pungent scents it being so hot nowadays, anyway had an interesting weekend full of love triangles, rectangles and all those other angles. Beer sure does make things more interesting. Any how was thinking of our back in the days love when we would actually make use of the post office to write to our beloved and send them pictures of us in ridiculous postures (kind of like the pics I took of myself) and we would include dedications from K-Ci and Jojo...If you have never sent or received such a letter in your life my deepest condolences are with you. Back then courting was a process, nowadays with the right car and cash you can skip the whole thing and jump straight to bed after the initial greeting....thats if you go as far as saying something to each other.
For the benefit of todays generation I decided to remind you of the old day charm.....it worked too,so dont laugh you are probably a product of it.
Dear Sugar
Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. Why! this miraculous thing happened is because papie I love you spontaneously and as I stand horizontal to the wall and perpendicular to the ground I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous guy. papie please Stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat. To me each day starts by thinking of you and ends by dreaming of you. Each time I see you my metabolism suddenly stops and my peristalysis goes in reverse gear My medular-oblandata also stops functioning.
Crazy crazy crazy you may say but this is true. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalon you would understand. That's why I need to see you face to face with you, soon. I think I have to pen-off hear because I still haven't finished studying electrolysis and polymerization. Catch you pa- later. Sleep tight and don't let those bed bugs ever bite you coz you are too sweet a thing for them.
Yourz Ever,
Sugar nonoza
And the equally fantabulous reply
Dear Honie
My Love, My Sugar, i was exasperated with pride to have received one from you, the lungs in my body flapped with joy when i have been reading your letter. Anyway by now you have reached the realisations to why i am jotting this small letter to you, yes it is to see if you are keeping with the sands of time.
How is everything on that other side of yours? Well here everything is just half lemon half sugar to makeit schweppes. How is your schooling? How are you pulling the wagons of life? I am just pulling the schooling thing like a donkey pulling a cart.
My honie, i am missing you very much right now, my heart is perambulating with every word that i write, if it was not for these oceans that decided to flow between us then i would get on the next bus to come and see you, but until then i know that i will not hesitate to put this blue blood on this paper and write to you. I remember that day lovie, that one sweet day as Maria Curry sanged it, you know that it is my favorites song honie, the one day that we were boarding the combies and you escorted me to my home, walking with you just brought sweet dreams to me for the rest of my life honie.
If words of love could ride a bicycle I would be competing against Diego Maradona. Anyways, i will not stop you from reading the books that give you life and education so I will stop here for today.
Please always writing to me because I am missing you like sugar misses tea. You can see my foto below
My dedications to you are :
Maria Curry - One Sweet Day.
Boys to Main - And of the Rod
Keep well my mop of my heart, Yours in flesh and in blood, Ruise Sugar Baby
P.S. Sorry about my english, I did not learn anymore
Now that is classic....
For the benefit of todays generation I decided to remind you of the old day charm.....it worked too,so dont laugh you are probably a product of it.
Dear Sugar
Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. Why! this miraculous thing happened is because papie I love you spontaneously and as I stand horizontal to the wall and perpendicular to the ground I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous guy. papie please Stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat. To me each day starts by thinking of you and ends by dreaming of you. Each time I see you my metabolism suddenly stops and my peristalysis goes in reverse gear My medular-oblandata also stops functioning.
Crazy crazy crazy you may say but this is true. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalon you would understand. That's why I need to see you face to face with you, soon. I think I have to pen-off hear because I still haven't finished studying electrolysis and polymerization. Catch you pa- later. Sleep tight and don't let those bed bugs ever bite you coz you are too sweet a thing for them.
Yourz Ever,
Sugar nonoza
And the equally fantabulous reply
Dear Honie
My Love, My Sugar, i was exasperated with pride to have received one from you, the lungs in my body flapped with joy when i have been reading your letter. Anyway by now you have reached the realisations to why i am jotting this small letter to you, yes it is to see if you are keeping with the sands of time.
How is everything on that other side of yours? Well here everything is just half lemon half sugar to makeit schweppes. How is your schooling? How are you pulling the wagons of life? I am just pulling the schooling thing like a donkey pulling a cart.
My honie, i am missing you very much right now, my heart is perambulating with every word that i write, if it was not for these oceans that decided to flow between us then i would get on the next bus to come and see you, but until then i know that i will not hesitate to put this blue blood on this paper and write to you. I remember that day lovie, that one sweet day as Maria Curry sanged it, you know that it is my favorites song honie, the one day that we were boarding the combies and you escorted me to my home, walking with you just brought sweet dreams to me for the rest of my life honie.
If words of love could ride a bicycle I would be competing against Diego Maradona. Anyways, i will not stop you from reading the books that give you life and education so I will stop here for today.
Please always writing to me because I am missing you like sugar misses tea. You can see my foto below
My dedications to you are :
Maria Curry - One Sweet Day.
Boys to Main - And of the Rod
Keep well my mop of my heart, Yours in flesh and in blood, Ruise Sugar Baby
P.S. Sorry about my english, I did not learn anymore
Now that is classic....
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Sexercise
So I am considering going to the gym and beefing up a bit, get that beer gut down to a six or eight pack,tri-ceps,bi-ceps and all those other ceps. So as to keep you up to date I have decided to do the before - after thingy we see on infomercials unfortunately I dont have anyone to take pics of me....any volunteers?
Oh and I dont have money for gym membership so Virgin Active if you happen to stumble on my blog sponsor me and you will get free advertising on my blog.
Oh and I dont have money for gym membership so Virgin Active if you happen to stumble on my blog sponsor me and you will get free advertising on my blog.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Understanding marketing
You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a fabulous girl/guy. You have one of your friends' approach them, point at you and say, "She's/He's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.
You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them to get their telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. You get up, straighten your clothes, walk up and pour them a drink. You open the door, pick up their bag after it drops, offer them a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. They walk up to you and say, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
That's Brand Recognition.
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a fabulous girl/guy. You have one of your friends' approach them, point at you and say, "She's/He's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.
You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them to get their telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. You get up, straighten your clothes, walk up and pour them a drink. You open the door, pick up their bag after it drops, offer them a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. They walk up to you and say, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
That's Brand Recognition.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
moi
Ok so I took a couple of pics of maself and man I am never going to subject any camera to such torture again, lets face it Im just not photogenic.
Ohh by the way out of pure boredom how many of you readers would love to see me as nature intended.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Top 5 voicemails
(a). Hello, you've reached Kwaki and *****. We can't pick up the phone
right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. ***** likes
doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly.
So leave a message, and when we're done.... brushing our teeth we'll get
back to you.
(b). Hi, this is Kwaki. If you are the phone company, I've already sent
the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my
financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are
my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have
plenty of money.
(c). Hi, I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
(d). Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain
silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
(e). (Sexy female voice with heavy panting).. Hi, you've reached
0822285619.
Kwaki is in... (sigh) Oh no, he's out... (aah) Yes, he's in again..(ooh)
No he's out... (aah) Why don't you just leave your name and number and
he'll call you as soon as he...cums.
right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. ***** likes
doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly.
So leave a message, and when we're done.... brushing our teeth we'll get
back to you.
(b). Hi, this is Kwaki. If you are the phone company, I've already sent
the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my
financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are
my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have
plenty of money.
(c). Hi, I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
(d). Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain
silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
(e). (Sexy female voice with heavy panting).. Hi, you've reached
0822285619.
Kwaki is in... (sigh) Oh no, he's out... (aah) Yes, he's in again..(ooh)
No he's out... (aah) Why don't you just leave your name and number and
he'll call you as soon as he...cums.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Damn, I'm still alive
Sorry to dissapoint you guys but I am not dead yet. Its the New Year, ok maybe not that new considering its the last days of January but hey who cares.
Resolutions?????? OK people on an interactive note I need you guys to give me your resolutions and have you managed to keep them?
I remember making a resolution on the dawn of this year but honestly I was too drunk to remember it. Anyway post your comments its not that hard really, just point the cursor to comments click,write your comment.
Resolutions?????? OK people on an interactive note I need you guys to give me your resolutions and have you managed to keep them?
I remember making a resolution on the dawn of this year but honestly I was too drunk to remember it. Anyway post your comments its not that hard really, just point the cursor to comments click,write your comment.
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